If you’ve met me, you’d know i’m one of the most negative persons around. You know the type that mopes, sulks, blames other people for my misfortunes, gives up at the slightest challenge or discomfort, the type that refuses to get off her hinny to get things done. You know i’m the type that’ll bring you down, wring you out, and leave you feeling spent, empty and alone.
I’d like to think of myself as having a generally positive outlook in life. And yes, I like to spread the happiness around. And I like taking care of people and making them laugh. Those things make me happy.
But I’ve had my share of negative people, some have gone, some have changed, and some have stayed. I remember a time wherein I felt totally spent dealing with other people’s problems. I remember a time caring so much about what people thought and being so guarded and aloof.
Some life changing blog posts and moments after, I find myself here, enumerating how I deal with negativity and things that attempt to make me 😦
Here are the top 10 ways that I deal with negative people, negativity and generally crappy things.
For me, it’s Britney Spears. There is nothing in the world that can get me out of a funk faster than hearing — Baby One More Time, Stronger or Why Should I be Sad. I heard someone say something like this “there is nothing like the power of a great pop song to get you out a bad mood.” It’s true. I always start my day with thinking and the singing of a song.
If you want to kick-ass, my favorite music uppers (besides Brit brit , top of mind only) are Pitbull’s Triumph and Can’t Stop Me Now, the Queen’s Can’t Stop Me Now, Danny Eflman’s The Little Things, anything from AC/DC, Ace of Base’s It’s a Beautiful Life, All American Reject’s Swing Swing, Five’s Keep on Moving, Backstreet Boys’ Get Down, Daft Punk’s Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, The Gossip’s Spare me from the Mold and Standing in the Way of Control, Alphabeat’s Fascination, Jamiroquai’s Feels Just Like It Should, Audioslave’s Be Yourself and I am the Highway, Jason Mraz’ Make It Mine, DMX’s What’s my name, and N.E.R.D.’s Rockstar. I could on and on forever.. Let’s end with…at marami pang iba… haha!
2) Surround yourself with quality people
Best friends are the shiz. There was once a time that I was scared to even call someone my best friend lest I risk the chance of getting hurt. Sorry, those days are over. I’ve got best friends, ehem.. they know who they are, and they rock. =)
In every self-help book that you can find from getting rich to getting over something sad like the death of a loved one, surrounding yourself with people who care for you, people who are positive and will think about your ideas is imperative. Idea stealers or dream killers should be shot but Yes men are the bane of every successful person. A true friend tells you when you’re being shitty or being awesome. Correct?
I’m also lucky enough to have my family around me—the best quality people I know! 🙂
3) Accept that people will always disappoint you
My life got a lot happier when I understood that people will always disappoint you eventually. It’s a fact of life. Being accepting of people’s mistakes does not equal to being a pushover though. I once wrote that the key to friendships is figuring out if the disappointments are something that you can live with. If you can’t live with them, or they are not aligned to what you want to have in your life.
If you can, do it gently, but if you need a sledgehammer.. i’ll lend you mine. 🙂
Sounds a little selfish, but it works for me, which bring us to number 4.
4) Be Selfish
I once wrote in another blog that everyone should try being selfish at least 10x every year. Don’t get me wrong. I dun like selfish people. There’s a difference between being selfish once in a while because you care enough about something to fight for it vs I’m selfish just because I’m a selfish bastard. And besides, selfish people are negative people, so dun be like that. But if you want something, and you deserve it, I say– go for it!
5) Laugh at people, places, events, and things that f*ck up
I find humor in the weirdest things. When weird awful things happen to me, including telenovela-ish things— I find myself laughing at how surreal everything is. Haha! This also relates to #9, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Here’s a good thing: Laugh when you’re happy, laugh when you’re sad. I’ve read that when you smile when you’re sad, eventually, you’ll be smiling for real. Kung true yun or hindi, all I know is when look in the mirror when I’m sad and trying to smile natatawa ako sa itsura kong pained na di mo maintindihan— haha!
6) Deal with your issues
Seriously, if you have an issue or issues. Deal with it. If you know you have an issue and you don’t want to deal with it—may problema ka tsong! haha! But eventually, it catches up with you. Actually just knowing you have an issue is good. It’s the first step. So from me— write down your issues today! haha! 🙂
Oh, this also includes accepting who you are and knowing what you are and the whole banana. Sabi nga ni Pareng Chris Cornell,to Be yourself is all that you can be. Bow. Samahan na rin natin ng pagkanta ng Beautiful ni Christina Aguillera. Eto ang tissue, sabay tayo umiyak. Catharsis, yun na! haha! 🙂
7) Have an Outlet
My outlets are surfing and my doggie.
Obviously, surfing makes me happy. If you need proof, picture at the left says it all. haha!
As we say in surfing, “throw your frustrations/issues/buwisit na lovelife/problema in the ocean. And … it works! Iiyak mo sa dagat. Go for it!
Also, when I’m away from the ocean, my outlet is Owen Wright. Seeing someone do awesome things makes me happy. 🙂
(sidenote: also if you’re a girl, seeing crush and crushie’s face works.. yihee!)
As for pets, pets are the best. My dog is the bestest. He’s my dance partner, rock out partner, and all in all makes my frown go upside down when he does the cute things he does. 🙂 Pets are simple, you love them, treat them nice, and they love you. 🙂 Parang how to deal with bunnies lang yan: love us, we will love you! yehey! 🙂
When I’m sedentary and sitting on my *ss, I’m a lot less happier than if I just worked out or surfed or ran.
Endorphins are the sh*t, use it.
Isa pa, it can also be an outlet. =)
Truthfully, at the end of the day being healthy can make you happy.
First of all, detachment is different from indifference. Indifference sucks and deserves a separate blog post. Detachment is ideal. I used to be so stressed when people told me their problems and took their problems as my own. Well, they’re not—as my friend succinctly told me a few years back.
A lot of people ask for my advice, (feeling nila may alam ako sa buhay–haha!) and I always tell them –that’s what I think, but it’s your life. 🙂 Nasasad ako for you, but you will not make me sad. Each person has their own journey.
“Problema mo yan, bahala ka sa buhay mo, basta andito lang ako if you need help, a hug, love, or a shoulder to cry on”—I always say.
From Deepak Chopra’s Seven Laws of Success, one of the keys to success is detachment–detachment to the outcome. It’s been a journey trying to learn that, but I’m getting there. 🙂
Living within the moment is key. And isa pa, this thing helps you manage expectations, thereby lessens disappointments but wait(!) managing expectations is not equal to pessimism (that also deserves a separate blog post. haha!). Just you know…enjoy the moment and quit thinking kung magiging kayo. And yes, I got that from someone but I’m talking to someone else— yes, i’m talking to you. 😛
10) Do my prinsipyo.
It’s like my version of the golden rule. I shall accept and respect who you are, i expect you to do the same, but if you truly hassle me. I shall sobrang hassle you, (and knowing me, forget about it after. I do not like dwelling on bleh things.) =)
I don’t think I put anything really new in the ideas department but it’s been fun writing this for me. 🙂
So I leave you with lyrics from It’s A Beautiful Life by Ace of Base…
You can do what you want just seize the day
What you’re doing tomorrow’s gonna
Come your way
Don’t you ever consider giving up,
You will find, oooh
It’s a beautiful life, oooh
It’s a beautiful life, oooh
It’s a beautiful life, oooh
I just wanna be here beside you
And stay until the break of dawn!