2014 List

A quick roundup of the really really fun 2014! 🙂  Continue reading

Advertisements

cycling lesson #1

2014 literally punched me in the face before it ended and I look like I’ve been in a fight. I fell off my bike and on my face while I was trying to stop the bike when the boyfie and I were biking in Nuvali. I can’t bite and the side of my chin and below my chin is black and blue. Like if the boyfie was with me walking, they would ask me if I was in an accident or if the burly guy abused me. ganen. Totally my fault because I forgot everything that I was taught to do to stop.

And the self-awareness crap hits you when you’re at the dentist, looking at the ceiling and hoping that you don’t have to have splints, also when you look at your face in the mirror and you’re looking at a nasty bruise that you have to explain to your mom. All good though, no splints needed, the bruise seems to be fading (thank you hot compress) and my mom didn’t freak out.

So what did I realize?

At a certain point between my face hitting pavement, the dentist/hospital and writing this, I’ve: entertained thoughts of stopping learning how to bike; thinking that I have hematoma; freaked out the boyfie with my hypochondriac tendencies; made my staff wonder who hurt me; cooked NYE dinner; lit fireworks with family; and realized that tama ang boyfriend ko : maganda pa rin ako talga kahit may pasa.

The lesson here is to see the beauty in things and places around you, even when they appear sucky. 🙂
Happy New Year! 🙂 May the sucky things of 2014 (like this bruise) fade away and the great and wonderful things of 2014 remain and prosper in our lives! 🙂

Waiting

I fear that this is the end. We’ve ended before we ever decided to start. I mean really start. Not that little conversation that we had a few months ago, about liking each other, or that conversation we had over not possibly liking each other enough.

I am about to leave that conversation before it ever ends. I’m jumping the gun. Eventhough fear is in my heart, as it always has been in matters such as this, even with all the stupid things I keep telling myself and the things that people say and the words that you never do that keeps a girl like me hoping, I will leave that conversation.

Honestly, it’s my fault. I think I managed to box myself into this corner. The corner where I know I maybe alone. And even when it seems that I’m not, I am alone. And the paint that I keep on painting will never dry because I have to step on it, and ruin it.

But there’s always that possibility of painting over it again, just with a different color, a different brush, a different time, as a different person. I’m weary of this current painting. I’m weary of waiting for things to dry.

 

————-

Wrote this a few months back. Good news though! I didn’t need to leave the conversation, and the paint was quick-dry. 🙂