I have a lot of clubs.

Clubs. Associations. Organizations. Groups. I’ve got a lot of those. I’ve got storytelling orgs and groups, book clubs, eating groups, and speaking groups. Basically, I have a group for most of the things that I like doing.

That said, with the previous post, I’ve realized that what I most need at this time (mainly because I cannot devote myself to cooking and the pursuit of, because my life is basically full of a lot of things– including being President of a Speaking Club, and the process of getting married) is a cooking club.

We sorta had a thing like this a long time ago, when a friend (now fiance) used to invite friends over to cook. It’s a great idea. I miss it.

And while I’m not sure if I have the time, I’m willing the universe to manifest this for me. I want a cooking club that meets (once a month? is that okay) to cook stuff, experiment on things, geek out on food, that kind of deal.

So is this possible?

Thoughts? Anyone willing to join me?



I write this because a lot of things happened today.

There was an earthquake.

I watched a lot of award-winning chefs.

I also realized that I could die tomorrow, or in this instant.

Time flies very fast. (This one is courtesy of a 60th birthday party I attended today too)

And that I really want to cook again.

The last one was a bit of a curve ball. I have no idea where that idea came from, as these days, I’m pretty happy with occasionally cooking for myself, the fiance, or for the family during the holidays.

I have mostly resigned myself to writing about food.

I met one of my old culinary school classmates in a regional dinner in this Madrid Fusion Manila. She now was the executive chef of a big hotel in Batangas, and as we were talking and doing some catching-up, I had the big bad feeling of…regret.

Visuals of what could-have-beens flashed in my head, and I remembered how much potential I had as a cook. And hey, two of the people who taught me how to cook were on the Madrid Fusion stage, so really, I was ripe of some good ole fashioned self-reproach.

So the whole time today, I’m thinking and feeling two things—that some of the things I’m thinking are possible, OR all these new (and old barely resuscitated) dreams are too late.

Le sigh.

And this is not something that I should really be thinking now, I’m thinking. (Dang, I think too much!) I have a lot of things on my plate– getting married, moving houses, the summer season (which is always big for my business), my lack of waistline, my costume/outfit to the britney spears concert, the articles that I still have to write, and have I mentioned my lack of waistline already? Yep. Lotsa things on my plate.

So why am I thinking of this stupid thing?

I blame the earthquake.

But as firm believer that things happen for a reason, then maybe I’m supposed to get these thoughts, and my gut is supposed to clench every time that I do, or that my head wants to explode because I cannot deal with time running out.

Just breathe.

That advice was given to me by my fiance last week when I was having a faux-nervous breakdown. You know the type where you want to quit everything but you know you can’t cause no one is going to do it except you anyway? So you just cry, keep outwardly calm, but inside you’re like ‘Lord Jesus help meeeeh!’ and carry on. THAT kind of thing.

I blame the earthquake.
Nothing like the swaying of a building that you’re in and a forced evacuation to give you some some perspective.

The truth is, I’m still in that half-shit phase where I don’t know what to do, or if I should do anything and wait for the time that it’s right, or some shit like that, which usually doesn’t really work anyway, because at this point– I don’t know the shit I’m supposed to do anyway!

Or maybe I’ll just keep thinking about it. It’s holy week, and that’s a good thing to do during this time, right?

Reflect, genuflect, and just effing figure things out while not too eating much, and possibly exercising, because sacrifice.

So 4/9/2017, waddup?**

**article writing for this started at 4/8/2017







LSS = Mood

News! My friends and I are planning to put up a communal blog—to share the blog load, 🙂 We want to fill it up with things that interest us, and hopefully other people will be interested  to read it too.

2016 is treating me well, so far. There’s the usual stress brought from 2015, but so far, so good. We finished the training sessions for BAVI for Cagayan De Oro, Zamboanga, and Davao these past few weeks. The boyfie is kinda missing the travel. I’m liking the fact that I get to park my butt for a while.

My HPL is going to be happening in 2 weeks, and I’m a bit apprehensive with that– I’m always extremely OC about things that I have to organize, so I’m going to plan and prepare as much as I can to accomplish that.

One new thing that’s been happening — Training. It’s in my life! I’ve been assisting in some teambuilding sessions, co-facilitating with the boyfriend, and observing a presentation skills workshop. How awesome is it to help people? I love it. And I’m just hoping that I get enough knowledge and ability to learn how to do that, as well as the people that I’ve been privileged enough to watch. What a gift!

I’ve been wanting to do this for a few years now, and I finally took a course on training design last year, and I just took a course in facilitation the last two days. I plan to take a storytelling/writing course this coming summer, I hope my schedule permits and it all works out. I’ve got a hopefully correct learning plan and I hope interesting things happen along the way.

That said, I aim to balance everything out — 3 businesses, learning a new skill, toastmasters responsibilities(possibly a contest), the new blog, storytelling to kids, and writing on the online news portal. I also want to go surfing so very badly that I dream about it already. Delayed gratification is what’s pushing me forward, and it also helps that I enjoy what I do– from managing the farm to writing the articles — I love them all.

Somethings need to re-align again, like my fitness and my health. I got sick recently, and I really think it’s because my body was rebelling with all the stuff that I’ve been eating– which were mostly yummy, and mostly sugary. I plan to give up dessert for lent, with some exceptions– mostly if it’s my job to taste something. Sounds like a plan, right? Right.

Okay, so I’m updating this because I just heard the new Santigold song, and it was love at the first line of “All I wanna do is what I do well”, so that’s what I want to do — all I want to do is to do well. I wish life was as simple as this song portrays it to be, but life is not without its challenges, but that’s life, and yeah, everybody needs a bit of self-confidence and self-belief. I need it especially facing how many things I don’t know yet.

I wrote this post to remind me that I really should be my biggest fan, AND critic. While I fear about being able to fulfill all my responsibilities, and failing to learn and grasp new things as fast as I want, I should also fight back with the belief that I have the capability to achieve all that I plan.
“I’m my biggest fan and I can’t get enough”